The world of professional golf is dominated by obsessive personalities. You have to be willing to rinse and repeat until the skin falls of your hands. You have stick to your convictions even when they don’t make sense. You have to have a single-minded focus that most normal people might call “a little crazy.” Hell, you might even have to be a little crazy.

For many professional golfers, these tendencies can be seen in various aspects of their lives, especially food. Some worship Chipotle with an almost religious zeal. Others toss their pickles in the trash like they’re handling nuclear waste. Then there was Bryson’s infamous chonk-up, which defied everything we thought we knew about peak male performance. Perhaps the oddest of all, however, is Brooks Koepka’s diet, which he revealed in a viral Smash GC clip earlier this week.

Koepka’s admission that he hasn’t “cooked in years” isn’t exactly shocking. Top pros are on the road most of the year and employ their own chefs and nutritionists. But to have made it to the age of 34 without ever drinking a warm beverage or eating ketchup is pod-person behaviour. We can argue until the cows come home about whether ketchup belongs on a hot dog (it doesn’t), but it’s in and on a million things. High-end chefs even use it to emulsify various sauces. Even if you don’t like, you have probably tried it … unless you’re the 2023 PGA champion, that is.

That pales in comparison to Koepka’s hot-drink phobia, however. The Smash GC skipper was born and raised in Florida, which is 9,000 degrees with 500% humidity (actual meteorological data) year-round, but still, we assume he’s been chilly before. Seriously, if Brooks and Jena go on ski trip to Aspen in January, does he order a cold brew for breakfast? Oh wait, of course he doesn’t, because Koepka ALSO DOESN’T DRINK COFFEE.

To each their own, of course. We’re all a bunch of freaks and weirdos at the end of the day, and Koepka’s fear-nothing-but-a-bottle-of-Heinz approach has served him well thus far. But still, we’d like to introduce him to the autumnal glory of a hot apple cider. ‘Tis the season, after all.

Main Image: Andrew Redington