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By Kent Gray
Terminal velocity we kind of get, but proprioception? Don’t worry, we needed Google to make more sense of Bryson DeChambeau’s second round at the 30th Omega Dubai Desert Classic as well.

Just know that the world No.5 is exactly where he wants to be at Emirates Golf Club, atop the 30th Omega Dubai Desert Classic leaderboard with Lucas Herbert, a 23-year-old Australian who started this European Tour season with a round of 80 but showed it was a mere blip with a sensational nine-under 63 on Friday.

The unlikely duo are tied at -12, a shot clear of 2011 champion Alvaro Quiros and Ernie Els who is concocting a 30th birthday fairytale as he closes in on 50 by finally rolling in some putts. Talk about rolling back the years. Defending champion Haotong Li looks awfully impressive just two back at the halfway stage, first round leader Matthew Fitzpatrick is within three while 2017 champion Sergio Garcia and Irishman Shane Lowry, last week’s winner in Abu Dhabi, lurk on -8.

But first, to Google. What in the cosmos is proprioception? Ah, the “perception or awareness of the position and movement of the body.” It’s all starting to make sense now. Who are we kidding.

DeChambeau is golf’s most open enigma. After a “scrappy” 66 in Thursday’s opening round, the “Mad Scientist” thankfully paraphrased his matching six under score on Friday – an eagle, seven birdies and three bogeys emanating from the wands within the conical flask that masquerades as his golf bag – as a round where he again didn’t really bring his “A-game”. If the American drawcard can conjure a 66 without his best stuff, imagine what he might do when his Bridgestone ball and Cobra clubfaces achieve perfect cold fusion on the Majlis.

Anyway, give us your verdict on the day please Bryson?

“Man, you know, I thought after yesterday getting it around not making a bogey was awesome, but today even more impressive with three bogeys on the card, still shooting 6-under. I was happy about that,” the 25-year-old said.

DeChambeau started out speaking our kind of language but it didn’t last long.

“Unfortunately, again, just didn’t have the right sensations and proprioception over shots. I just felt uncomfortable, unfortunately, on a lot of them, and consequently just am not ball-striking my best. But hey, shoot, I’m not complaining one bit. There’s no complaining here for sure, so I’m happy.”

When DeChambeau won low amateur honours at the 2016 Desert Classic he was ranked 530th in the world. Three years, five PGA titles and 525 spots up golf’s pecking order later, do you believe the giant leap is a result of your meticulous approach to golf or just a lot of hard graft?

“Yeah, it’s definitely both. I would say it’s a lot of trial and error and a lot of failures. People don’t realise how hard we work out here and how many times we actually fail before we succeed.

“I think the proof is in the pudding of just being able to execute even when I don’t have my best. The margins for error are a lot smaller than they used to be, and that’s why I’m consistently up here near the lead. I think that’s what’s really been a cool part of the journey, just to see that progress and to see less error over time.”

The proof is in the pudding. Now there’s a phrase we can comprehend. So far so good for DeChambeau, even if his body language Friday was reminiscent of Hideki Matsuyama, the Japanese star who befuddles commentators the world over with his misleading shot reactions.

Twice on Friday DeChambeau looked decidedly unimpressed with shots mere mortals crave, the first a pitch into the 17th that led to a birdie from five feet and the next an iron from the rough on the inside corner of the dogleg on 18. The latter split the fairway to set up a birdie-birdie finish but DeChambeau, hands on hips in a huffed human teapot, clearly couldn’t believe he’d missed the blade of grass intended as his lay-up spot.

The reaction conjured up one of Thursday’s most memorable post-round quotes from the American drawcard: “I’m trying to figure out different conditions, different atmospheres, different temperatures, different soil types, different firmness values of greens. Just everything, trying to understand as much as I possibly can so I can be consistent.”

Quite. We’re all just trying to figure out DeChambeau. It’s perplexing and fascinating and a whole lot of fun, something he seems to be having on the Majlis despite all the big words.

“I didn’t feel like I had my “A” game, even though I’m getting it in the hole. That’s the name of the game; if you can hit it around — Shane [Lowry] missed a lot of fairways last week and won. You can definitely do it out here, but I want to have my best game. I want to be comfortable over shots. That’s what I’m working towards, but I’m still playing well, and finishing off with two birdies is always nice.”

Roll on moving day at Emirates G.C. We’ll bring our dictionary just in case.