Carlos Marino

By Coleman Bentley
At this point you’d think Tiger Woods would be tired of power moves, maybe even a little bored, considering he spent nearly 20 years flexing on his peers Thursday-Sunday, February-October. The 2018 Tiger is a new Tiger, too—a kinder, softer, gentler apex predator with some real, capital-P Perspective. But it’s U.S. Open week—the 10th since his dazzling, peg-legged battle with professional belt-buckle collector Rocco Mediate at Torrey Pines—and if you thought Tiger was just gonna roll up to Shinnie in the ol’ Buick and get to work, you were wrong. Very, very wrong.

Instead, Tiger has announced his presence at this year’s U.S. Open with all the subtlety of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, docking his $20-million-dollar, 155-foot yacht off the tip of Montauk on Tuesday. The fittingly titled “Privacy” will reportedly serve as Tiger’s base of operations as he hosts a high stakes poker game for the world’s most powerful criminals vies for his first major victory since that fateful afternoon back in 2008.

According to Page Six, the 17-person escape pod—which has been graced by the likes of Bill Gates, Oprah, and MJ—is berthed at Gurney’s Montauk Yacht Club, about an hour east of Shinnecock Hills Golf Club. With a theater, gym, and Jacuzzi on board, Tiger should have plenty to keep him occupied outside of, you know, trying to win the most difficult golf tournament on earth, though those plans could easily go up in smoke if Mr. Bond somehow escapes the shark tank again.